The Wait
by jtav
Summary: Liara and Miranda await test results that could change their future forever.


_Done for the prompt: "After having been in a relationship together for quite some time, Liara and Miranda decide to have children." on masskink._

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><p>The lab tech removes the needle from Liara's arm. "All done. We should have the results in about an hour. Do you want us to call you?"<p>

Liara holds up a hand. "Send a message, please." Her voice is strained. Miranda can't blame her. In an hour they will know whether Liara carries the gene for Ardat-Yakshi Syndrome. They will know whether they can have children.

They finish up at the desk and walk into the bright sunlight of Nos Astra. Illium never fully recovered from the Reaper War forty years ago. Its grandeur is more subdued: the skyscrapers are shorter, the fashions less garish. People stare at them as they walk to their car, as if they can't quite believe two war heroes are there. Miranda pays them no mind. She's been stared at all her life, and at least she can take credit for eliminating Cerberus.

Liara's brow is furrowed, her head slightly bowed. Miranda knows that look. She saw it on Lazarus Station when Liara finally learned what Cerberus planned to do to Shepard and again after she killed Vasir. "What was it like for you?" she asks softly.

Miranda doesn't need to ask what she means. "I spent three days pacing my apartment, hardly daring to hope and cursing myself for being an idiot. It was only children, I told myself, nothing to my work for humanity. But I couldn't stop crying when I got the news. It took the discovery of the Reapers to really snap me out of it. My personal problems seemed trivial after that."

"Well, that's one good thing to come out of all this." Liara's smile is wry. "Is it foolish that part of me doesn't want to know?"

"Yes, but it's understandable. And your—_our—_chances are still pretty good." There's a 1 in 527,000 chance that a pureblood carries the AYS gene. Miranda should know; she designed the test. It's another thing she can take credit for. After her father's death in the war, she collected and disseminated the data gathered from the creation of her and her sisters. Every day at the Lawson Foundation seems to bring a new discovery in genetic screening and engineering. That her father's technology is being used to help asari would horrify him. Miranda chooses to see it as sweet irony.

"And if I am a carrier? What then? And don't say it won't change anything!"

"I won't." Of course it will change things. Her dream of having biological children, unassisted by modern technology, will have died a second time. Liara won't be able to conceive a child that isn't a sociopath. "We'll manage." Miranda doesn't mention adoption. She still wants to punch Greenway for that.

"I know how important having children is to you."

"Not as important as some other things." She feels her voice break on the last word._ Do you think I want you because I could have children? That was never what I wanted you for. I think I fell in love with you on Omega when you went through all that just to bring back your friend's body. And you were so very competent and strong in your search to bring down the Broker. You helped hold the galaxy together when we were all at each other's throats during the war. The test results don't take any of that away. I'll still be here. _Miranda doesn't say any of that. She's never been good at sentimental things.

Liara looks at her. Her eyes are soft and her lips slightly parted. It's easy to believe asari are telepathic when Liara looks at her like that, or maybe frequent meldings over the decades have made it easy for her to read Miranda. Miranda shivers as her layers peel away one by one under Liara's gaze. She isn't as young as she once was—crow's feet mar her skin and her dark hair is streaked with gray—but she feels something hot and vital course through her. There are those who say their coupling was inevitable. The most powerful asari and the richest human in the galaxy; and the two women responsible for raising the dead. But Miranda knows better. Her relationship with Liara is a favor from the universe that she's never quite sure she deserves. She'll grow a child like her father did before she gives this up.

Liara smiles at her, though Miranda notices the lines of tension. "We'll manage," she repeats.

Home is an apartment in the city's most exclusive district. Neither of them have any use for the mansions that surround them. Too much empty space. Miranda takes in the sitting room with a quick glance: the remnants of Liara's artifact collection in glass cases, a piano Miranda had bought over twenty years ago when Shepard insisted that she needed a hobby, a minor Matisse she'd gotten Liara as a surprise. She fiddles with the bracelet on her left wrist. Forty years. No, she'll never give this up.

Liara's gait is still downright ponderous as she walks to the couch. Miranda thinks of seducing her, if only as a distraction, but dismisses the idea almost at once. They're both anxious, and she's still young and selfish enough to care if the sex is good. Instead, she sits beside Liara. Neither of them say anything.

When the hour is up, Miranda follows Liara into the study and watches as she bends over the computer. Her heart hammers in her chest, and her breath comes in shallow gasps. Half of her wants to tell Liara to hurry up already, and half wants her to wait until she can collect herself. Liara clicks something.

Liara reads, her face paling as she goes on. She opens her mouth, closes it. Her expression is unreadable.

"Well?" Miranda doesn't trust herself to say more. _Please. Just once, let me get everything I want._

"Negative," Liara whispers. "Any children will be fine."

"No." This time Miranda's voice does break. "Our children will be fine."


End file.
